3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
