bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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