Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
