i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
