Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
