I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
