i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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