guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
whose parrot is this?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
