All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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