New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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