a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
