Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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