You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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