Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
