Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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