DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
