Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
