i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
