Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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