just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
