All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
