You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Houston, we have a squirter
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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