i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
