Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
