i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
