Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
