Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
