WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
