I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
