I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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