Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
