I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
