everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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