Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
