I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
What drink are we having for lunch?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
