I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
