I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
