would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
