No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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