You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize