I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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