He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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