before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
