Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
