You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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