sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
