you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
