windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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