butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
