I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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