well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
